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Kids can add unpredictable element to the big day

Denise Sautters
Copley News Service

From falling cakes to fires, kids have caused all kinds of calamities at weddings.

Take, for example, the bride who smashed the top of her wedding cake because her son, who was rolling around on the floor, tripped her.

“Luckily, the bride had just cut the cake for pictures,” said a witness, Bill Manos, a disc jockey. “When she fell, she put her hand down and smashed the top layer.”

It wasn’t pretty, Manos said, but at least it was her own child causing the disaster.

Peggy Chovan, owner of Johnnie’s Pastry Shop in Massillon, Ohio, said she has seen many near-cake disasters over the years because “for whatever reason, kids like to rock the wedding cake.”

Jean Chamberlain, manager of Santangelo Catering, remembers one wedding reception that started off in grand manner. “The two youngsters were about 8 years old. No one knew they were under the table, and when the bride and groom came through the line, the kids grabbed their legs and food flew everywhere.”

As disastrous as it was, Chamberlain said, everyone, including the couple, laughed. She added that they try to keep children away from the buffet table so these things don’t happen, but ... At another wedding Santangelo catered, the flower girl was changing her clothes for the reception and decided to run out in the middle of the party stark naked. She was 5.

Imitation

At one wedding, Chamberlain said, a young boy witnessed the groom smashing cake into the bride’s face. “As the couple made their way around the room, this boy smashed his plate of cake into the bride’s face because he thought that was what he was supposed to do.

“We recently had a wedding that had candles on the table, and the kids sitting there set the table on fire,” she said. “Then we had a wedding where the kids got on the floor, rolled on their backs, and started looking up the girls’ dresses.”

Kids crawling over pews in church, screaming flower girls, and ring bearers who refuse to walk down the aisle also have caused problems.

Patricia Varn, owner of Patricia’s Floral and Plant Shop in Canton, Ohio, and a wedding consultant, said at one wedding the minister got upset when youngsters in the wedding party started crawling over the pews and running up and down the aisles of the church.

Give it a rest

When children are asked to do too much before the wedding, they get tired and often start acting up, Varn said. She recalled a wedding where the photographer started shooting photos hours before the event.

“The photos started four hours before the wedding. The flower girl was so tired and hungry that when it was time for the wedding to start, she was done. She was crying and she didn’t want to have any part of it.”

At another wedding, the ring bearer refused to walk down the aisle.

“He just said, ‘No,’ threw the pillow down and that was that,” she said. “When you ask a 2- or 3-year-old to do something, they get scared, and anything can happen because they don’t know (any differently).”

Preventing disasters

You can’t foresee everything youngsters can do at a wedding, but you can lessen the chances of a major disaster. Experts have suggestions for couples to consider when planning a wedding involving children:

Don’t try to have someone too young handle too much. Children should be at least 5 to participate in the wedding ceremony.

Children like to be the center of attention, so ask someone to pay special attention to them. Consider having someone walk the child down the aisle — a parent, grandparent, or another wedding party member. Also, ask someone to oversee the child’s behavior so everything goes smoothly during the ceremony.

Kids don’t have much patience. When photos and other activities are done before the wedding, try to have youngsters participate at the last minute, rather than making them stand around the entire day.

If you plan on having a child stand with you during the entire ceremony, seat a parent nearby where he or she can see them. The child might get restless and start acting up. Having the parent nearby gives the child an option to sit down. If the ceremony will be long, have the child walk down the aisle, then immediately sit with his or her parent.

Set up a room or an area for children 10 and younger and keep them occupied with coloring, crafts, videos, etc. Ask an older child or adult to oversee the activities. A “goodie bag” at the reception for each child, with a coloring book and small box of crayons, will give them something to do and will be like getting a gift for good behavior.

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