Jennifer Schaedel grew up in the shadow of New York City, and she calls
Manhattan home. But when she and her fiancé began planning their wedding in
2004, her thoughts kept turning to memories of the tiny Caribbean island of St.
John, where her family vacationed each year.
Her fiancé had also grown up in New York’s suburbs, however, so a Manhattan
wedding was the logical choice.
“Then my father passed away a couple of months after I got engaged,” says
Schaedel, “St. John was his favorite place in the world, so having the wedding
there felt like kind of a tribute to him.”
That’s when they began planning their “destination wedding,” a phrase the
wedding industry once used to describe couples eloping to a tropical beach,
perhaps with a handful of friends and family members in tow. While that’s still
an option, today’s destination weddings are often far more elaborate.
“Generally it’s a three-day event, sometimes longer,” says Lisa Light, a
wedding planner and author of “Destination Bride: A Complete Guide To Planning
Your Wedding Anywhere in the World.” “For one in England, we had 150 people for
five days of outings and events in London. Then, we packed them onto buses and
drove to West Essex for this wonderful castle wedding.”
For many people, like Schaedel, the decision is based on fond memories. Maybe
a bride or groom spent a semester abroad in Paris, or loved visiting
grandparents in Mexico.
For others, it begins with a dream. “A bride may have always had this fantasy
of being married on a beach or in a castle,” says Linda Kevich, editor of
SuperWeddings.com. “Scotland is popular because of the wide assortment of
castles.”
The Internet has made it easy to plan a wedding from across the globe, and
many resorts, such as the posh Grand Wailea on Maui, now offer pre-planned
wedding packages that cover every detail. One click, and your planning is
virtually done.
But some couples opt to use their wedding as a means of personal expression,
planning a unique celebration in an exotic locale. Fabulous? Yes. But it can be
costly — and complicated.
“There are a lot of moving parts to a destination wedding,” says Karene
Infranca, who lives in New Jersey but had a three-day wedding on the east end of
Long Island in September, complete with a golf outing and pre-wedding clambake
for 40 guests. “Remember, every fork has to be rented.”
When the planning began taking too much time away from her advertising
business, Infranca got online. She quickly found wedding coordinator Corinne
Soikin Timor of HamptonWedding.com, who took care of the details.
Wedding planners do “take a lot of the guesswork out of it,” says Antonia van
der Meer, editor-in-chief of Modern Bride magazine. “How are you going to choose
an officiant if you’ve never been to Jamaica? You need either an event planner
here who’s very familiar with the location or an event planner on-site at the
hotel.”
Costs can range from reasonably affordable ($5,900 buys you a ceremony on the
beach at Grand Wailea, with a floral bouquet, clergy and musicians, but no
dinner reception) to phenomenally expensive (Schaedel’s three-day celebration on
St. John for 125 guests included a lavish reception, two catered cruises and a
farewell beach barbecue, and ran about $90,000, not including the guests’
transportation).
“But we did everything,” she explains. “We shipped down coconut cups for
people to drink out of and we had Japanese lanterns hanging from every tree.”
They also set up a Web site to keep guests informed about plans and to share
photos after their honeymoon.
Some couples see a destination wedding as a way to shrink their guest list.
“It’s so political in the real world,” says Heather Anderson of BVIWeddings.com,
which organizes weddings in the British Virgin Islands. “You’re inviting people
you don’t really want to but you have to because your mother knows them from 30
years ago.”
But the “wow factor” of many destination weddings can make guests
surprisingly willing to attend.
“I tell brides, be careful who you invite because a lot of people come!” says
Soikin Timor.
Guests often continue vacationing for several days after the wedding.
Las Vegas — once known for impulse weddings at drive-through Elvis-themed
chapels — has become one of America’s top spots for elaborate, catered
ceremonies. Monica Bisek, wedding chapel manager at the Bellagio hotel in Vegas,
plans hundreds of weddings each year, often for clients who’ve planned their
nuptials to coincide with business trips.
“They may add their wedding when they’re already coming for a convention or
personal business, when their coworkers will already be in town.”
Some even time their nuptials to sporting events. “When NASCAR is in town,
you can see it: The type of wedding changes,” Bisek says. “They know they can
bring their friends and family. It doesn’t take long for guests to say, ‘I’m on
board!’”
In Schaedel’s case, her wedding became more than just a beach vacation for
guests. It served as a reunion for old friends.
“A bunch of my friends got villas together on the island and stayed there
together after the wedding was over,” she says. “It was great. Everyone kept
saying, what about your one-year anniversary? Where are we going next year?”
On the Net:
www.bviweddings.com
www.destinationbride.com
www.hamptonwedding.com
www.superweddings.com
www.weddingsabroad.com
Consider this
Send
“Save the Date” announcements to your guests as early as possible, since they’ll
need to clear several days on their calendars and perhaps plan ahead for the
expense. Wedding planners advise at least six months in advance.
u Carefully research the marriage laws in your destination country. On some
islands, such as Tortola, you need to reside there just three days before being
granted a marriage license. Elsewhere, the waiting period may be much longer. It
may be necessary — or at least easier — to marry in the United States at your
local city hall before departing on your trip.
u When making arrangements by phone or Internet, be sure to get everything in
writing, down to the smallest detail. Specifics can easily get lost in
translation.
u If you’re renting a private home, make sure the owners have the proper
insurance for a large event.
u Decide whether you’ll pay any part of guests’ accommodations or
transportation. Many experts say the bridal couple is under no obligation to
help guests with expenses, but some suggest paying for the accommodations of the
bridal party.
Consider planning a small party for the night most guests will be arriving,
perhaps combining it with the rehearsal dinner. If your event is at a resort
that offers spa services or a golf course, let your guests know what’s available
and perhaps offer to pay for some amenities.
