The wedding day of your daughter can be almost more exciting, nerve-wracking and memorable than your own. So what do you wear to your daughter's wedding? In the day of the modern bride, it's not as simple as it once was. "The bride's mother is the second most important female at the wedding," says Pamela Fiori, editor in chief of the lifestyle magazine "Town & Country." "She should be at her very best and wear something beautiful."

In other words, you're no longer limited to pastel sheath dresses and cream suits with pearls. "My daughter, Emily, told me at the onset of my search, 'Don't buy one of those frumpy dresses that looks like a suit with a jacket,'" says Patty Winetz, whose daughter got married in 2003. Winetz followed her daughter's instructions and wore a dark grey, silk strapless gown with a beaded bodice. "I had never worn a strapless dress, but Emily said, 'You have the figure. Go for it!' So I did."

So where do you start? First, get a basic feel for what type of look you want - suit or gown, long or short, stylish or conservative. Flip through wedding magazines and dress catalogs to get an idea of the different styles available. When you finally hit the shops, have an idea of what you'd like to wear but be willing to try on a variety of dresses. If it fits with your daughter's gown and the bridesmaid dresses, it's fine. (Your dress should complement the bridesmaids' but you shouldn't look like one of them.) Also, worry more about what your daughter thinks than how your husband's relatives will react to your outfit. It's her day and if she's okay with your dress, everyone else should be. And while it's imperative that your daughter approves of your dress, it's not her responsibility to find one. It can be a fun day of shopping for the two of you, but the majority of the responsibility should fall on your shoulders.

After you've found your dress, start to accessorize. By adding fun shoes or a funky brooch to a sophisticated suit, you can add subtle flair. Jewelry is also a great way to add a splash of color. If you choose a navy, cream or black ensemble, think about an eye-catching pair of dangly red or magenta earrings.