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The Three Bs of the Toast
ASSOCIATED PRESS
PALM BEACH, Fla. -- Here's a toast to the happy couple.
It's not to test the drinks for poison -- a reason the practice started among the Greeks in the 6th century B.C. -- but to salute the stars of the day, according to etiquette expert Jacqueline Whitmore.
"It is an art, because its effectiveness depends on intuition, timing, and a well-articulated message," she says.
Whitmore, founder of the Protocol School of Palm Beach, says to remember the three Bs as you raise your glass:
"Begin, be brief, and be seated."
It may seem obvious, but don't forget the toast is to recognize the people you're toasting, she says. Be as eloquent and creative as you please. But be brief, keeping your tribute to just a few sentences. End on a positive note and sit down, giving the bride and groom an opportunity to respond.
And, she cautions, don't confuse a toast with a "roast."
Some other toast points from Whitmore:
-There are usually two traditional toasts. One is offered at the beginning of the wedding meal, to welcome everyone, and the other is proposed to the wedding couple at the beginning of the dessert course.
It's acceptable but not necessary to clink glasses as you raise the toast. Simply raising your glass -- a practice of many cultures -- is fine.
-Never tap the side of your glass with a utensil to get attention or quiet the chatter of guests. For all you know, it may be a piece of fine crystal you're endangering.
-The father of the bride or the best man takes precedence in offering the first toast. And after the toast is made, the couple should rise and respond with their own toast.
-The couple should never drink a toast to themselves.
-And never refuse to participate in a toast, even if you're a teetotaller. It's perfectly acceptable to toast with a non-alcoholic beverage.
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