With all the excitement and activity surrounding a wedding, the couple is not likely to spend lazy afternoons reading "War and Peace" or "The Fairie Queene." The pair will, however, find valuable helps at the bookstore:

• Imagination and the personal touch are essential ingredients of "Elegant Weddings" (Hearst Books, $60 hardcover, January), by Stacey Okun and the editors of Town & Country magazine. An elegant event doesn't necessarily mean the big "princess" wedding of a first-time bride; second or third marriages can still be celebrated memorably, with children and grandchildren included, they write.
  
• Almost as important as the ceremony is the wedding reception. Maria McBride-Mellinger, in "The Perfect Wedding Reception" (HarperCollins, $40 hardcover), offers ideas and advice for the big party, emphasizing making the most of each season.
  
• The other important social event for the wedding couple is the shower. In "Wedding Showers" (Chronicle Books, $14.95 paperback), authors Michele Adams and Gia Russo suggest party themes, recipes, and offer practical help in organizing the party.
  
• Weddings are supposed to be joyous, but the decisions in planning them can be stressful. When in doubt, consult "Emily Post's Wedding Etiquette: 4th Edition" (HarperResource, $27.50 hardcover, January), by Peggy Post. The author helps you negotiate your way through from the engagement to the honeymoon.
  
• For those with shallower pockets -- or a desire to keep the cost from skyrocketing -- Madeline Barillo has advice to bring the big day in on time and within budget. "The Budget Wedding Sourcebook" (Lowell House, $17.95 paperback) is her compilation of tips and information for avoiding financial regret.
  
• Similarly, "Priceless Weddings for Under $5,000" (Three Rivers Press, $14 paperback), by Kathleen Kennedy, can help you achieve a beautiful wedding that won't leave a trail of bills. Kennedy, a longtime chef and caterer, offers real-world advice on what to ask and what to expect in dealing with wedding expenses.
  
• "Wedding Kit for Dummies" (IDG Books Worldwide, $24.99 paperback, with CD-ROM), by Marcy Blum and Laura Fisher Kaiser, is the high-tech companion volume of the previously published "Weddings for Dummies." The disk has software to compile guest lists, budgets, practical forms, checklists and hot links to useful Web sites.
  
• In the new edition of "The New Jewish Wedding" (Fireside/Simon & Schuster Trade, $13 paperback, March), author Anita Diamant includes a new chapter, "New Faces Under the Canopy," dealing with the rising number of converts, non-Jews and same-sex couples as principals in today's Jewish weddings.
  
• Two from Adams Media's practical "Everything" series are "The Everything Wedding Book" ($12.95 paperback), by Janet Anastasio, Michelle Bevilacqua and Stephanie Peters, and "The Everything Jewish Wedding Book" ($12.95 paperback), by Helen Latner.
  
• Carolyn Mordecai takes the historical view of love and marriage through the ages and in many lands in "Weddings, Dating, and Love Customs of Cultures Worldwide, Including Royalty" (Nittany Publishers, $28 hardcover). This book could be especially useful for couples wanting to research ethnic, religious, or national customs to incorporate into their own ceremonies.

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